In Between.

I just sat down to blog. Something I haven't done in a week or two.

I looked at the screen. I was ready to write. I sat there for 5 minutes staring...

I continue to stare now. At this horrible mess of words. And ponder the meaning.

So I'll keep staring. Staring at this screen. Trapped inside a stoic mentality......


I had a conversation with a friend recently that got me thinking about life perspectives. There's such a wide range of perspectives on every last detail of life. Hundreds of adjectives out there that could in one word summarize your experiences. But that is too vague..

My perspective on life at this moment is probably not the same I had when I wrote my last blog. I'd like to establish some continuity with my example of exercise. Two or three weeks ago, I was on board and pumped about getting in shape and maintaining it. Today, I'm overwhelmed by the end of the school semester and one of the first things to go was exercise. In two weeks, I'll most likely begin to get into the best shape of my life....a positive habit of mine during the summer.

These extremes vary. My mentalities and determination in certain areas of life are all over the place. Last time I saw my sister she told me something that we laughed about but is kinda true. She said, 'everytime I see you, you're either in good shape and healthy or look terrible with a beer belly. And it changes each time!'

And that is the way of a cyclical lifestyle. The lows, the high. The downs, the ups. The lethargy, the determination.....

I would like to have an experience that revolutionizes my world. Changes my outlook on the comfortable. Makes me face fear. Makes me overcome it.

I want everything I've ever known and believed to be challenged.

And I want to succeed. I want to learn more. I want to know some of those unanswered questions....

Enough of wanting. Time to go out and do it.

-J