Saturday, April 10, 2010


This may sound strange, but I feel the need to blog more than I feel the desire for other people to read my thoughts. I feel the need to get all of it out of my system; I want to be able to read back on my writings and think to myself, 'yeah, I nailed that thought.' But sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking. Like right now. I have nothing to write about, but I feel compelled to write. I feel compelled to become inundated with my own thoughts. Overwhelmed even. In many people's eyes, this past week could have made me seem like some sort of removed hermit. Maybe even longer than that. I have felt slightly removed from society at times. Oddly enough, I've found my own thoughts becoming my sole counsel. I feel like I've become distrustful. I don't believe that anyone else can get me to my goals. I even feel slightly disconnected from the one thing that brings everything together for me: music.

But, I cannot forget: confusion is a part of life. We cannot always be filled with crystal-clear purpose. Sometimes we have to do some soul searching, because purpose can lose it's meaning and cause if you allow yourself to forget about the reasons behind your drive. So instead of being frustrated with all these contradictory thoughts and emotions, I will try to embrace them. I will try to see clarity through the confusion. Light through the fog. And I will find it. Because above all else, I am a very determined human-being. Determined to see my life through to its full potential. Do I understand that potential completely at this time? No. But who does?

And that is the nature of life. Sometimes it is frustrating and unknown, but still always a journey. I may let myself get slowed down, but I will never come to a complete stop. It's all in how you handle the speed bumps and obstacles. And I will choose to handle them with my head held high, ready to face anything life chooses to give me.

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