Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Early Morning Thoughts...

So here I am....2 am. Listening to John Mayer live in los angeles in the background....

I had a really hard but really much needed conversation tonight. Closure is a good thing, but also a complex one. I am thankful though. I'm thankful for what I've been given. For what I have. For what I know I will always have. I'm very blessed.

Life is so complicated. That's one of the most cliche phrases of all time, but it's true. I think the minute we think we've gotten a part of it figured out is the minute our world is usually turned upside down. And wow, I never realized how scared I truly am of the 'lows' in life. But I have to accept that you can't have the highs without the lows. I need to be thankful, and know that I can feel so shitty because I care so much. And my highs in life will be that much better because of it. So no regrets.

Purpose. What is it? I feel like there is something big out there planned for me. I'm supposed to do something. Unfortunately, 'something' is as specific as I can get. Is it wrong for me to think I'm meant for something big? Maybe, maybe not. You could tell me your opinion, but I can promise you that you don't know either...

And that's another thing. When we think about how much we as humans truly know, it can be slightly depressing. The human mind has a lot of potential, and capabilities, but we are also limited creatures with limited knowledge. But we seem to think it's limitless. I just think when it comes down to it, getting too specific about certain things can lead to error. After all, we're only HUMAN. That's why I don't buy into all these petty arguments about specifics in politics, religion, morality, everything. These complex topics have SO much room for human error and interpretation. I guess the point of this mini-rant is this: take everything with a grain of salt. There is nothing perfect in this world, but truly accepting that has beautiful potential.

I'm all over the place this morning. I apologize. I doubt very many people are reading anyways and if you like me enough to read this, you'll probably forgive me. My mind is going a million miles a minute, and at times like these my coherence is probably reduced to the 'slightly coherent' level. Whatever. It's freeing to write. To express my thoughts. And I won't ever stop. Sorry world.

Now I'm hearing an insane John Mayer solo. That man speaks to guitars in a way I only dream of doing one day. If you ever get a chance to listen to 'I Don't Need No Doctor' by his band at their live show, do so. It's phenomenal. If I have ever shown you anything John Mayer related, it's probably this song. Anyways...


'Whoa gravity, stay the hell away from me.
Whoa gravity has taken better men than me.
How can that be?
Keep me where the light is'

Alright fellow bloggers/blog-readers, time for some sleep. Stay sweet.

-J

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